i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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