Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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