she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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