ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I am midnight drunk by noon
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Randomize
