I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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