The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
