You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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