How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The uberlube is also flammable
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
