is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
