yo everyone went to the hospital last night
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
