literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
