dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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