Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
