So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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