Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
