i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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