she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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