Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
