No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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