just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
