I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
