Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
