I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
