Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
