5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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