Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
