If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
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