he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
