The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
