i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
