So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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