It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
