ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
