i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
