Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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