I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just forgot I was standing up.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
