I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
