I just threw up on my dentist
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Randomize