I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Sacagawea was the original milf.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize