I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
