Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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