I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
