Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
