Don't make out with my wife yet
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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