She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
