He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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