dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Ladies don't puke and tell
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
