She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
