4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
