He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
