is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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