I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
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My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
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EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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