I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
