He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Is Oprah even human
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
