hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
