If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
