So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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