I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
