Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
