Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
