white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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