if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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