DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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