Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
